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			Marriage As God Would Have It  
			
			Introduction:  
			
			In On This 
			Day by Carl D. Windsor, the page for Valentine’s Day includes 
			this anecdote:  
			
			     
			
			Even the most devoted couple will experience a stormy bout once in a 
			while.  A grandmother, celebrating her golden wedding anniversary, 
			once told the secret of her long and happy marriage.  “On my wedding 
			day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults which, 
			for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook,” she said. 
			
			
			     A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen 
			to overlook were.  The grandmother replied, “To tell you the truth, 
			my dear, I never did get around to listing them.  But whenever my 
			husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to 
			myself, Lucky for him that’s one of the ten!”  
			
			It is God’s 
			desire that we have a long and happy marriage.  He knew that it was 
			not good that we should be alone; that there were many benefits to 
			being married.  (Ecclesiastes 
			4:9-10)  
			But one-half of all marriages are ending up in divorce.  Many of the 
			remaining ones are on rocky ground.  Is there hope? Absolutely!  
			
			The Word of God 
			is the answer, the single best marriage manual.  Within its pages, 
			lie the solutions to a long and happy marriage.  This was the basis 
			for Gus Nichol’s approach to marriage counseling: 
			
				- 
				Do you 
				really want to do what’s right?
 
				- 
				Do you want 
				to start right now?
 
				- 
				Are you 
				willing to let the Scriptures give you the answers? 
 
			 
			
			A great 
			approach, I think.  
			
			Aim:  
			Discover how to have a long and happy marriage  
			
			Body: 
			
				- 
				Good 
				marriages don’t just happen.  
				It involves much work.  You must realize you “need each other to 
				survive.”  M. Patterson       The husband and wife should each 
				ask themselves this question:  “How can I personally make this 
				marriage a success?”  It is not fair to expect your spouse to 
				make this a good marriage.
 
				- 
				Remember 
				marriage is a commitment.  
				(Matthew 
				19:3-6)  
				Next to Christ, our spouse must come before any other person.  
				We make a solemn vow in God’s presence to be faithful until 
				death.  We vow to put our spouse first, even above parents.  
				Many a marriage has been damaged in this way.
 
			 
			
				- 
				Love your 
				spouse as Christ loves you.  
				(John 
				15:12)  
				“This is My command, that you love one another as I have loved 
				you.”      Christ loves us in spite of our imperfections. We 
				shouldn’t enter marriage believing our mate is perfect either.  
				This would be a source of unhappiness and discontent.  Be 
				realistic!  Husbands, love your wives, as you love yourselves.  
				(Ephesians 
				5:28)  
				Even though we may not like everything about ourselves, we still 
				take care of ourselves anyway.  We must care for our spouse at 
				least as well as we care for ourselves.  Husbands, do you see 
				that she gets to relax as much as you?  Does she get as much 
				time off as you to pursue hobbies and recreation?  Are you 
				treating her as you would want to be treated if you were in her 
				place?                                          (Matthew 
				7:12)  
				“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you. . . “ 
				
 
				- 
				Act as a 
				mature adult.  
				Marriage is not for children.  People need to prepare for 
				marriage.  Don’t rush.  Wait until you are mature enough to 
				realize what God expects from you in the marriage.
 
			 
			
			·      
			
			Mature adults are not selfish.  Selfishness is a root of many 
			marital problems.  (Luke 
			9:23)  
			One must give up some of their wants and wishes for the good of 
			marriage.  This is what it means to be mature.  If you are not 
			willing to do this, don’t get married! 
			
			·      
			
			Mature adults are responsible.  (I 
			Timothy 5:8)  
			Husbands are to provide for the family, materially as well as 
			spiritually.  He can’t just give these responsibilities over to his 
			wife. 
			
				- 
				Always be a 
				peacemaker.  
				“Pursue peace with all people.”    (Hebrews 
				12:14)  
				This is especially true of our mate.  Fight for, not against, 
				each other.  I can’t tolerate people not being nice to my wife.  
				Be willing to forgive as God does.  (Psalms 
				86:5)
 
				- 
				Make your 
				spouse your best friend.  
				(Proverbs 
				18:24)  
				Friends trust one another, are truthful with each other, spend 
				time together, and do things together.  They share thoughts and 
				feelings with each other.  You’ll be glad you did.
 
			 
			
			Closing:  
			The Bible does reveal the secrets to a long and happy marriage, if 
			you will only listen.  
			
			Invitation:  
			
			Husbands and 
			wives can contribute to the salvation of each other.  
			        (I 
			Peter 3:1-2)  
			In addition, they can encourage one another to be more faithful, 
			help one another go to Heaven.  What person would you like to have 
			in Heaven more than your spouse?  
			
			Bobby Stafford 
			
			May 6, 2012 
			
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